[Editor’s note] When you are old! How would you choose to spend the rest of your life? Is it with your children to enjoy the "family" of "raising children to prevent old age"? Or would you rather live alone, endure or enjoy the loneliness of being infinitely magnified? Or, pour your life savings and try your luck in a nursing home? It’s late in Sang Yu, but it’s sunny in the world. Such multiple-choice questions will be placed in front of us sooner or later.
CCTV News (Reporter Li Shanshan):Autumn in Beijing is a little cool. After 10 o’clock in the morning, the community gradually became lively, and the benches next to the flower beds were filled by the elderly. Some are alone, sitting quietly, not knowing what they are thinking; Some take toddlers, children walk unsteadily, and the old man follows nervously; Some are sitting in wheelchairs, with bright eyes, welcoming the warm autumn sun in the implementation of nanny.
People will be old, but when they are not old, who can think of what it means to be old?
"You must have a nest when you are old."
Aunt Li Zhanying is an "old Beijing" and knows this neighborhood best. There are several old people in the community, which old people live alone, which old people are lonely, and which old people have recently arrived. She is very clear.
After lunch, Aunt Li took a CCTV reporter to knock on a family on the 28th floor in the community. After waiting for nearly a minute, a pair of hands with distinct joints opened the door, and the room was dark without turning on the light. The old man walked slowly and turned on the light, which lit up her slightly sparse hair — — More white, less black.
Then, a hoarse voice like erhu came from the back room and called us to sit down. Wearing a navy cashmere sweater with a pink shirt shows the special spirit of Uncle Li Shengchun. The neatly combed hair was carried back, revealing a wrinkled forehead.
Uncle Li Shengchun is 82 years old and his wife Aunt Xu Ruimin is 83 years old.
Pictures of Uncle Li when he was young.
In 1962, Uncle Li was assigned to the Second Nuclear Hospital of Beijing. Since then, he has been engaged in military nuclear engineering for almost a lifetime, and also participated in part of the design of the first atomic bomb supporting project. When he retired in 2005, he was rehired to Tsinghua University Nuclear Energy Institute. He officially retired seven years ago (in 2012, at the age of 75), and it was from then on that Uncle Li and his wife lived a solitary life.
At that time, there was no elevator in the old community where they lived. "It takes more than ten minutes to climb to the fourth floor, at least three or four times to rest." Uncle Li’s slightly vicissitudes of life drew a picture in front of him. "You can crawl step by step, occasionally, but you have to buy food every day!"
The old couple have two sons who haven’t retired. One lives in the northern suburb and the other lives in Shunyi, each with a child who goes to school. "It takes more than an hour to drive. If there is a traffic jam, it will take four or five hours to go back and forth."
If you don’t come, you will think about it. If you come, you will be in trouble. This has always been a struggle for the old couple. "There is no place to park. When cooking, where is the soy sauce bottle and where is the vinegar? A lot of things! You have to do it yourself when you leave the sanitation! " I couldn’t bear to let my son, who was still at work, toss and turn, and the old couple didn’t ask them to come over for nothing.
I have never lived with my son, but my living habits are different. My son Aika, dances and drinks at night. "Do you say not to let them make trouble?" It is acceptable to celebrate the Chinese New Year occasionally, but you should be cautious when you go to your son to support the elderly. Uncle Li cleared his hoarse throat. "You must have a nest when you are old!"
Two years ago, Uncle Li sold his old house and moved to this community with an elevator. When I was in college, Uncle Li was a member of the Art Troupe and could play many kinds of musical instruments: piano, accordion, clarinet … … I also performed in the Great Hall of the People, "but now I am old and my voice is broken." There is a piano covered with white gauze on the left side of the door. When he is physically strong, Uncle Li is sitting in front of the piano and playing the piano for his granddaughter.
In the fairly neat living room, there are all kinds of medicines that can’t be named in a striking place. Uncle Li suffers from diabetes, hypertension and hyperlipidemia … … There are five heart stents on him. My wife’s health is even worse. "Ten years of herpes zoster has been painful. I can’t even take a shower by myself. What I can do is dress and walk slowly. It’s okay to go to the toilet, but cooking is basically difficult, so you should eat Chinese medicine often. "
Why not hire a nanny?
Uncle Li has a bad feeling in his heart. "It’s not angry to spend money! Dare not say, dare not move, easily leave, easily quit … …” However, this is just one of the reasons why the old couple don’t hire nannies.
Image source vision china
The old couple have to sleep separately at night because of neurasthenia. If you sleep together, one person wakes up, and the other person won’t want to sleep all night, which affects each other. It turned out that when they were in the old house, two people just informed each other by knocking on the wall. When something happened, they rushed over. "If you hear it, you will hurry over. If you can’t hear it, it will be hopeless."
Now the old couple live in two big houses, one of which is occupied by one person. "Where do you live when you hire a nanny?" I wanted to turn this house into a single room, but when I thought of starting work, Uncle Li gave up. "Have to find someone! Who put you back? I don’t have that energy! " Uncle Li sighed softly.
Taking care of their daily life is all the old couple have every day. Walking in the house, one step should be replaced by two steps to prevent all the possibility of falling! "If you are tired, rest. If you don’t want to do it, put it there. Sometimes the house is dirty, so bear with it!"
Old age, empty nest, disability and dementia … … In recent years, these keywords have entered the public’s field of vision more and more frequently, attracting people’s attention. Wang Jianjun, executive deputy director of the National Office for Ageing, once said that it is estimated that by 2050, the elderly population in China will reach a peak of 487 million, accounting for 34.9% of the total population, and there will be one elderly person in every 2.87 people.
"Little old man" helps "old man"
In old age, people can’t help themselves.
Two years ago, Uncle Li just came to this community for a short time, and there was no electricity at home. The two of them plugged in the electric card with the lights dark, but they didn’t know to close the switch. As a result, they didn’t wash their feet or face, so they made do for a night. The next morning, they met Aunt Li Zhanying and found a property to solve the problem.
Aunt Li is 69 years old. She lives next door to Uncle Li and lives alone with her wife. Aunt Li has a son. When I earned more than 30 yuan a month, I couldn’t afford to support two children. Later, I lived comfortably, and the family planning policy was implemented, and I didn’t want any more children.
"The biggest difficulty in the life of the elderly is spiritual loneliness. They don’t lack money, they don’t lack things, what they lack is care, care, attention and care. Someone has to pay attention to him, and no one will ignore him. " Among the old people in the same community, Aunt Li is positive and enthusiastic.
Aunt Li participates in community activities.
After retirement, Aunt Li began to pick up various hobbies: singing, dancing, practicing calligraphy, playing Tai Chi … … I didn’t like ancient poetry before, but now I’m starting to study it. When there are activities for the elderly, Aunt Li will also write songs, print lyrics for everyone to distribute, organize activities, and contact … … From Monday to Friday, Aunt Li’s retirement is busier than going to work.
"Pension is really a big problem. You tie your child with you, and the child is too bitter!" Although Aunt Li is young, there are many senile diseases: hypertension, diabetes and asthma … … In order not to drag down her son, Aunt Li usually pays special attention to health preservation and prepares the Compendium of Materia Medica. Just look at it if you have nothing to do. "Try to make your body better, you can take care of yourself and don’t bother others."
Three years ago, the neighborhood committee organized volunteers to give two-to-one guidance to the elderly with difficulties. Aunt Li decisively signed up. At present, all the old people involved in the matching in the community are led by Aunt Li. They are called "little old people" to take care of the "old people". The elderly who volunteer are not less than 55 years old, and the elderly who are served range from 80 to 100 years old.
After Aunt Li learned about Uncle Li’s family, she took the lead to help the two old people match. Because I live close, it is often Aunt Li who helps me solve the problem.
More than two months ago, Uncle Li’s wife was weak and had night sweats. She needed to see Chinese medicine. On the first day, she saw a doctor and took medicine the next day. It is difficult for uncle Li to run back and forth alone, let alone bring his wife.
After Aunt Li knew about it, she borrowed a wheelchair from the neighborhood committee, and pushed an old man of more than 90 kilograms to catch a bus to see a doctor every day, and went to the hospital for two stops for more than a month.
"It’s really urgent, you can call your son to come over, but it’s not very urgent, such as taking medicine for temporary illness, running out of medicine at home or missing it, and running out of gas … … It is still necessary to rely on neighbors and community neighborhood committees to help. " Uncle Li told the CCTV reporter that now there is a "small dining table" in the community, and it is really difficult to cook, so I will go downstairs to buy some, and if not, I can order takeout, so that the problem of eating will be solved.
"Little old people" volunteers will call the paired "old people" every week to ask what is going on. "Everything is fine, just fine!" If the "old man" needs anything, such as finding an hourly worker, taking care of him in hospital, and running out of cold medicine at home, he will also call volunteers for help.
Dragon Boat Festival, Mid-Autumn Festival and Double Ninth Festival … … Volunteers will also invite old people out to participate in activities. "What the elderly fear most is loneliness, and loneliness is more terrible than poverty." Aunt Li said.
In order to alleviate the loneliness in his later years, Uncle Li learned WeChat, video with his sons and granddaughters when he missed them, and get together with old colleagues and classmates two or three times a year.
Grow old with dignity
Grandpa Han is one of the 90-year-old people in this community. Last Spring Festival, his wife passed away. Before his wife died, the only daughter found a villa-style nursing home for her parents. Before going to the nursing home, Grandpa Han said to Aunt Li, "I’ll try it first, but I’ll come back if it’s not good." As a result, he came back in a month.
Uncle Li has also considered living in a nursing home and seen several, but he feels it is difficult to find a clean and suitable one. "It’s not there yet." The key is that my sons don’t agree to go to nursing homes. "There are children and women, so what nursing homes are there!"
"A sense of security, a sense of dependence, a sense of happiness and a sense of security for the elderly", China has set up a characteristic old-age service system in China, which is based on home, supported by community, supplemented by institutions and combined with medical care. As an important part of the old-age service system, home-based care for the elderly has become an important part of meeting the needs of a large number of elderly groups, and the community plays a vital role as a support.
He Ying is a community worker in this community. She has been engaged in community work for at least 10 years before. She told CCTV reporters: "Community pension is actually a very humanized way of providing for the aged. It combines the advantages of family pension and institutional pension, which not only enables the elderly to provide for the aged nearby, but also has more sense of belonging. However, there will be many problems in actual operation, such as volunteers accompanying them to the hospital for medical treatment, community hospitals are fine, and there will be many people going to large hospitals.
In the community where He Ying lived before, there was a 90-year-old man with a big hip fracture in the bathroom, and the community staff helped him to the hospital. The old man had to undergo surgery, but his children were abroad, so volunteers could not sign it, and no one could perform surgery without signing it. Finally, the director of the old man’s unit signed it, and it was delayed for more than a day. The old man wore a splint for three months and died that year.
"What the community and volunteers can do is still limited. Old people who can’t take care of themselves especially need family or professional escort. Some old people can’t go downstairs, and the community can deliver meals, and one to two pairs are ok. If many old people need corresponding institutions, social groups or enterprise organizations, they need to improve their hardware, equipment and systems. In addition, the elderly actually need spiritual companionship more than material needs. How to make the elderly live happier and happier in the community still needs to be explored by the whole society. " He Ying said.
"Something similar to a pager can be installed between the paired old people or the property." Aunt Li suggested that because the elderly often get sick at night, they can get timely help when they are in trouble, especially at night, when most people are asleep and there will be someone on duty in the property.
Old people are afraid of loneliness and harassment. How to make the elderly feel comfortable while getting help?
"It is particularly appropriate to speak. You can’t put yourself on the top and front of these things, and others can be the core." Aunt Li is an old man herself, so it is particularly easy to understand the mood of the old man.
In Aunt Li’s home, her own calligraphy works are hung on the walls and doors of the living room. She has a simple wish, that is, to let the elderly living in the community live better and better, live longer and live with dignity.
(At the request of the interviewee, He Ying is a pseudonym in the article. )
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